


an atlas to follow

by arabesque05



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gakuen, Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-06
Packaged: 2017-12-28 16:20:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arabesque05/pseuds/arabesque05
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There is a vociferous graffiti debate in the fourth stall of the second floor boys' bathroom re: if Vice Principal Levi is more a Yankumi or an Onizuka. Arguments for Onizuka are mostly in the vein of: Levi has none of Yankumi's bleeding heart tendencies (though, in fairness, he hasn't any of Onizuka's either); Levi would not hesitate, if you broke school rules, to run you down with a gang of baseball bat-wielding motorcyclists." Gakuen!AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for the [snkkink meme prompt](http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/524.html?thread=640524#cmt640524).

There is a vociferous graffiti debate in the fourth stall of the second floor boys' bathroom re: if Vice Principal Levi is more a Yankumi or an Onizuka. Arguments for Yankumi are mostly in the vein of: Levi is too well-dressed to be some common street thug; it obviously speaks to yakuza connections. Arguments for Onizuka are mostly in the vein of: Levi has none of Yankumi's bleeding heart tendencies (though, in fairness, he hasn't any of Onizuka's either); Levi would not hesitate, if you broke school rules, to run you down with a gang of baseball bat-wielding motorcyclists.  
  
"You know," says Eren, on the rooftop, after Armin has updated Mikasa on the latest developments in the graffiti arguments. "I think they're all missing the point."  
  
"What point?" asks Armin obligingly, handing Mikasa and Eren their lunches. Eren feels a little bad that Armin always makes their lunches--but not bad enough to risk eat Mikasa's cooking. His father swore that it wasn't botulism that Eren came down with, but Eren's father also has a soft-spot for Mikasa the size of Tokyo Dome.  
  
(Though, in fairness, the less said about Eren's own cooking, the better.)  
  
"Yankumi, Onizuka--they both loved their students, okay. The vice principal--he..." Eren leans forward. "Do we  _know_  that he's not a serial killer?"  
  


* * *

  
Hanji-sensei is one of those chemistry teachers who sets fire to their own hand on the first day of class to demonstrate how amazing a subject chemistry is, and why everyone should declare for the science track on the subject declaration forms.  
  
Hanji-sensei, however,  _also_  offers to set fire to the hands of any volunteering student. "First, I'll set fire to just your normal hand," she says, beaming at them. "And then we'll dip the other in water and coat it in oil, before lighting it. So then you can tell the difference."  
  
"...Won't that burn one of our hands, sensei?" asks Connie waveringly.  
  
"Just one!" says Hanji-sensei brightly. "It's okay! You have two!"  
  
"...." says the class. No one volunteers.  
  
There is a rumor that the vice principal and Hanji-sensei are friends: that they sometimes eat lunch together; and go out for drinks after school sometimes; and once the principal had to go bail both of them out of jail. Eren is beginning to understand why they are friends.  
  


* * *

  
Looking at them, one expects Ral-sensei to teach Home Ec and Zakarius-sensei to teach Literature, but it's the reverse. Ral-sensei--who everyone calls Petra-chan-sensei--teaches literature with a passion that is the province of only new teachers: "I will do my best. Please place your trust in me," she says, bowing to them on the first day. "Let's have a beautiful three years together!"  
  
Zakarius-sensei either comes to work drunk three sheets to the wind, or he really gives no fucks about anything and has balls of steel. "If it's burning, you'll smell it," he says, when they make omurice in class one day. "So don't burn it."  
  
"What happens if we burn it?" asks Reiner, who's captain of the judo club and who has been crushing on Christa, manager of the girls' softball team, for an embarrassingly long time. He probably wants to give his omurice to her, ketchup drawn heart on it and all. It's a lost cause, figures Eren. Everyone knows Christa only agrees to manage the softball team because Ymir's their ace pitcher.  
  
"Well," says Zakarius-sensei, "I suggest you don't. I was supposed to bring Hanji-sensei and Levi-kyoto-sensei lunch today, but I forgot." He doesn't sound even vaguely apologetic. "I figured I'd take your omurice to them for lunch. Of course, I'll tell them who made each for them--credit and all. They'll appreciate it."  
  
Next to Eren, Armin lets out a quiet whimper. The idea of giving the vice principal  _burnt food_  is so horrifying that Eren--who for justifiable reasons has no confidence in his culinary skills--briefly considers faking anemia and being excused to the nurse's office for this class.  
  
Except then Jean--the dick--who has a station one row in front of Eren, turns around and meets Eren's eye. "Heh," he says, and smirks, as if already anticipating the curb-stomp of a beatdown the vice principal will give Eren.  
  
Well. Like hell Eren's going to let Jean think that.  
  


* * *

  
"I give you my  _One Piece_  collection," Eren tells Armin, after class. "You'll treat it well, I know. Mikasa, you can have my scarf. The red one Mom knit."  
  
"You gave me that for my birthday last year," says Mikasa. "And the year before that. And the year befo--"  
  
"Well, you can keep it!" says Eren, because there's a certain level of dignity owed to last rites and Mikasa's not helping.  
  
"I don't what use it will be to me," she says. She looks down at the blackened round shape on her plate that might have been eggs and rice at one point. "I didn't really do that much better than you."  
  
"You guys," says Armin wetly. Armin's omurice, of course, turned out beautifully.  
  
Eren's only consolation is that Jean's omurice turned out just as bad as Eren's. Well--maybe not  _just_  as bad. He hadn't had to run for the fire extinguisher at any point, but it is obviously won't be up to Levi Standards. Eren meets Jean's eye. "Heh," he says, and smirks.  
  
Except then Armin says, "Oh, Jean. You want to trade?"  
  
"What?" says Jean; and then, because Jean is an  _asshole_  but not stupid, he says, "Yes," not waiting for Armin's answer.  
  
" _What?_ " says Eren, flailing an arm out too late to prevent Jean from snatching Armin's plate away. "Armin, you  _idiot_."  
  
"We...we should go together," says Armin, sticking his chin out stubbornly. "I'm not leaving you guys."  
  
"Idiot," murmurs Mikasa, but she scoots her chair closer to Armin.  
  
"...Armin," says Eren. He decides, "You can still have my  _One Piece_  collection. After....y'know." He swallows. "The Vie Principal finishes harvesting our organs for the black market."  
  
"Bathes in our virgin blood in the moonlight," agrees Armin.  
  
"Who's a virgin?" says Mikasa.  
  
"What?" shrieks Eren.  
  


* * *

  
Mercy descends in the form of the Principal, who returns from business in Sapporo with one of those deluxe bento sets of crab and sushi for the Vice Principal. He also brought back some miso ramen for Hanji-sensei, but--as everyone in the science hallway hears--"I hate miso, Erwin, god, you know Levi's the one who likes miso. Fuck you, did you just wander around Sapporo buying food for this pipsqueak and--and--not bring back even _one_  marimo for me?"  
  
Mercy almost always descends in the form of the Principal, who seems content to leave the running of his school to the Vice Principal's iron fist, and only occasionally appears to ply the Vice Principal with exorbitantly expensive food and/or Belgian chocolates and/or truckloads of cleaning supplies.  
  
"They're fucking," says Armin.  
  
"Obviously," says Mikasa.  
  
"What?" shrieks Eren.


	2. Chapter 2

They have bimonthly assemblies, less because anything in the school bylaws dictate it and more because that is how frequently the Vice Principal feels like yelling at them. Not that the Vice Principal  _yells_  exactly. He makes observations: "I noticed some mud in one of the stairwells yesterday," he says. "There seem to be loiterers on school grounds after hours," he says. "I see some of you still have not learned to tuck in your shirts," he says.  
  
Promptly thereafter, the stairwells are all spotless. No one tries to linger after club activities. They tuck their shirts in and buy belts as well. It is one of the Vice Principal's probably numerous yakuza-honed talents: the ability to convey murderous intent via seemingly innocuous observations. Eren usually leaves the assemblies feeling vaguely as if he's clawed his way out of the very maw of death.  
  
"I think it's in his intonation," says Armin, who never met a life threatening fear that he didn't want to analyze afterward. “Very flat.”  
  
"I think it's how he doesn't blink," says Eren. "He just glowers."  
  
" _I think_ ," says Mikasa, surprisingly snippy, "it's how he jumped out a second story window last week and tackled Marco to the ground for trying to sneak in tardy. That is hardly sane behavior."  
  
"You totally jumped out of  _your_  second-floor window  _just yesterday_  to ambush me for money," protests Eren.  
  
"You owed me money," says Mikasa, like somehow that is a rational explanation.  
  
"I don't know how Levi-kyoto-sensei didn't break any bones," says Armin. "Marco didn't even cushion his fall. He just...kind of pulled Marco down with him."  
  
"Because  _he's the devil_ ," says Mikasa, entirely ignoring her own feats of injury-defying acrobatics.  
  


* * *

  
In any case, the next time they troop into the gymnasium, Eren is expecting a reaming for either (a) the broken window courtesy of the baseball club (and there Bertholdt is, nearly pissing his pants) or (b) the armfuls of peonies that the ikebana club forgot to throw away and which nearly caused an ant infestation in the science wing. From the stage, the Vice Principal glowers at them for several silent minutes, as if to say, “Go on. Stew in your guilt. That just makes you more delicious when I grind up your bones for jam.”  
  
The humor in that—it’s a gallows sort of humor—is, of course, that the Vice Principal is no giant at all.   
  
However, instead he says, “We will be having a cultural festival next month. You will all be participating.” He pauses, as if prepared to wait out speculative murmuring from the audience—but no one makes a sound. It is half instinct now to play dead until the Vice Principal concludes his speech. For a moment, there is almost a look of approval on his face. “Well. Your families will be coming. Students from other schools will be coming. Your principal will be coming. I expect you all to be on your best behavior. And to participate in this two hundred percent. That is all.”  
  


* * *

  
“A maid café!” is Jean’s suggestion, because he is a skirt-chaser and pervert and just wants to see Mikasa in a maid outfit. Eren is onto him.  
  
“Yeah,” agrees Eren. Immediately, Jean turns around, face turned sallow and eyes suspicious. Eren smiles with a lot of teeth. “But even better, a reverse café.”  
  
“Oh,” says Sasha, who drew the short straw and is class representative on the festival committee. “You mean like, the boys dress up in maid uniforms and the girls dress up in –“  
  
“No,” says Annie, flatly. “I don’t want to see Reiner’s hairy legs.”  
  
“Fuck you,” says Reiner. “There are like, socks for that shit or something.”  
  
Annie eyes him speculatively. She turns back to the front of the room. “I’m in,” she says. “I want to see Reiner lose to pantyhose.”  
  
“I don’t think we should do anything customer service related,” says Armin pensively. “No offense, but…” He looks at Eren. The entire class looks at Eren.  
  
“What,” says Eren, scowling.  
  
“Okay,” says Connie. “How about a haunted house?”  
  
“Yeah, just have them look at Annie’s face for more than five minutes,” snipes Reiner in revenge.  
  
Annie raises a fist.  
  
“Guys, guys,” says Bertholdt. “C’mon.”  
  
“I think we should sell sweets and desserts. Like a bakery,” says Sasha.  
  
“You’d eat all the sweets and desserts,” Connie points out. “By yourself.”  
  
“I’d share,” argues Sasha.  
  
“What do you think, Mikasa?” asks Eren.  
  
“Arm-wrestling competition,” says Mikasa, leaning an elbow on her desk. “Single elimination.”  
  
Which Mikasa would win, of course.  
  
“I think,” says Armin, actually raising a hand. “I think we should do a purikura room. Because—“ He fidgets. Mikasa reaches over and settles a hand on his shoulder, as if to say,  _I’m with you_. Probably more to say,  _You know I can beat up anyone who laughs_. Mikasa can be soothing like that. “Well,” says Armin. “You know how Petra-chan-sensei talks about making beautiful memories and all. I think we should, for the cultural festival. I want to make good memories with everyone, I want to have fun with everyone; and I think. I think photographs are a great way of remembering.”  
  


* * *

  
When has anyone been able to deny Armin, after one of his speeches?  
  
They decide on the photo-booth theme, unanimous.


End file.
